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不用怕:克服恐惧的5种方法

时间:2014-06-30 14:58:07  来源:  作者:

 Of the many unpleasant emotions we can experience, fear may just top the list.

在我们所能体会到的不愉快的情感之中,排在第一位的可能就是恐惧。
But fear is more than just physically unpleasant. Fear can also keep us from pursuing the things in life that really matter -- like following our dreams, and developing and taking care of important relationships.
但是恐惧不只是一种生理上的不愉快。恐惧会阻止我们追求那些能让生活变得美好的事情——比如说追逐梦想、发展并维持好重要的人际关系。
I have good news though. We can be free from the grip that fear often has on us.
不过我有好消息要告诉你。我们是可以摆脱恐惧的束缚的。
1. How experience reduces fear.
1. 经历如何减少恐惧。
I used to be very afraid of getting up in front of people and speaking. I would get sweatypalms and my stomach would be so tied up that I wouldn't be able to eat. I would experience so much tension in my neck and shoulders that I would almost always have a headache by the time I had to speak or shortly thereafter.
我曾经非常害怕在人们面前讲话。我会手心冒汗,肚子还会抽筋以至于都吃不下东西。我的脖子和肩膀还会一直有一股力量紧绷着,导致我在讲话或者讲话之后一会儿就会一阵头疼。
Each time I spoke though, I noticed afterwards that it wasn't that bad. This is a trend I've noticed throughout my life. Things I fear are never as bad in reality as I make them out to be in my mind.
每一次我当众讲话之后,我都会注意到其实它并没有想得那样糟糕。这是我在生活中已经注意到了的一种现象。我害怕的事情在现实中并没有像我想象的那样可怕。
So one element of training for fearlessness is to simply push ourselves to do things that we fear so that we have more opportunities to develop the wisdom that the things we fear are always worse in our minds than they are when we actually experience them.
所以锻炼克服恐惧的一个方法是就让自己去做我们所感到恐惧的事,这样我们就会有更多的机会来提升自身的智慧,认识到我们所恐惧的事在想象中比在现实中是更加可怕的。
2. Practicing investigation of our inner worlds.
2. 练习探索我们的内心世界
Of course, the real question is how do we move through the fear that keeps us from acting? If we never take action, we never develop the wisdom described above.
当然,真正的问题是我们如何越过恐惧这一个阻止我们行动的难关?如果我们从不行动,那我们就不会拥有上面所说的智慧之见。
Developing freedom from fear of our outer world, begins with facing what we fear in our inner world.
摆脱外部世界带来的恐惧,从面对我们内心世界里的恐惧开始。
Each day, we should be taking some time to sit still in mindfulness. At least 5-10 minutes each morning and evening. The attitude we should maintain, especially during our practice of sitting still, is one of curiosity about what we are actually experiencing in this moment.
每一天,我们应该花一些时间来静坐冥思。每天早上和晚上至少要有5—10分钟的时间。特别在当我们练习静坐的时候,我们应该保持这样的态度,即对我们正在经历的这一瞬间保持好奇。
The attitude can be summed up with the question: What's happening now?
这种态度可以用一个问题来概括:现在正在发生什么?
The more we practice this curious investigation of what is actually occurring in our inner world, the easier it is turn toward the things in our inner world that scare us, like the thoughts we wish wouldn't come up, the unpleasant emotions like anxiety and anger, and the unskillful states of mind like jealousy and greed.
当我们练习如何探索内心世界的次数越多,我们就会更容易地接触到那些在内心深处我们所真正恐惧的,像是一些我们不曾希望出现的念头,一些不愉快的情感,比如焦虑和愤怒,还有不成熟的心理比如嫉妒和贪婪。
Learning to turn toward these unpleasant elements of our inner world serves a few purposes. First, we start to see that we can face anything in our inner world. By developing freedom from fear of things in our inner world, we find that we have more courage to face things that scare us in the outer world.
学会面对我们内心世界的负能量有很多用处。首先,我们开始意识到我们可以面对内心世界的一切。通过练习摆脱内心的恐惧,我们发现我们有更多的勇气去面对那些外部世界令我们却步的事物。
Second, by consistently practicing turning towards the things that scare us, we're more likely to do so when we face a really challenging situation. This is absolutely essential for being able to transcend fear.
其次,通过不断地练习面对令我们恐惧的事物,当遇到一个真正的挑战时,我们更有可能勇敢地面对它们。这对于超越恐惧是十分必要的。
3. Creating space.
3. 创造空间。
The first and most important step to being free from the grip of fear in a frighteningsituation is to create some space between ourselves and the emotion of fear.
第一步也是最重要的一步是在一个恐怖的情形下摆脱恐惧的魔爪,在我们本身与恐惧这个情感的中间创造出空间。
This isn't accomplished by ignoring the fear, or trying to talk ourselves out of it.
这不仅仅只靠忽视恐惧或者试图说服自己逃离它而实现的。
Space is created automatically when we honestly acknowledge that fear is present by mentally naming the emotion, "There is fear." In fact, research at UCLA shows that by simply naming an emotion we actually begin to reverse the "fight or flight" response in the body.
当我们诚实地承认恐惧的存在:“这是恐惧”,空间就自动地被创造出来了。事实上,UCLA的一项研究显示,承认一种情感会让我们开始扭转“战斗还是逃跑”的生理反应。
4. Control the breath and investigate the fear.
4. 控制呼吸并研究恐惧。
Once we acknowledge the presence of fear, the second step is to control the breathing so that it becomes slower and gentler.
我们一旦承认恐惧的存在,第二步就是控制呼吸,令它变得缓慢而柔和。
With each exhalation, we try to make the exhalation just a little bit longer, and we investigate with curiousity how fear manifests in the body. As we pay attention to the physical symptoms of fear, we find that the space between ourselves and the emotion increases. We see the emotion more objectively.
随着呼气,我们试着让呼气的过程更长一点,我们随着好奇心探索着恐惧是如何在我们的身体上表现出来的。当我们注意到恐惧的生理现象后,我们发现在我们自身和情感之间的空间变大了。我们对待情感变得更加客观了。
5. Visualize a positive outcome.
5. 使一个积极的结果视觉化。
With practice, we can create just enough space between our fearful thoughts and the emotion of fear so that we're able to replace a fearful thought with a positive one. We can visualize a positive outcome for whatever we're about to do.
随着练习的深入,我们可以在我们恐惧的念头和恐惧的情感之间创造出足够的空间,因而我们能够把恐惧的念头转变成一个积极的念头。我们可以使一个积极的结果视觉化,令其成为我们所要做的事。
For instance, before I get up to speak in front of a group of people, I visualize the people in the audience being positively impacted by what I say and the spirit of kindness and service in which I try to remain while speaking.
举个例子,在我走上去面对人们演讲时,我想象底下的观众积极地被我的讲话所打动,而我则努力保持着一种友善而负责的精神完成我的演讲。
When we can see a positive outcome in our mind, we can easily say, "I'm doing this!" Fear no longer holds us back. 
当我们能在心里看到一个积极的结果时,我们就会很容易地说,“我真的可以做这个!”恐惧就不再阻碍我们了。
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